"Unusual" Scenes from Nigeria

Well, they're not really all that unusual, more typical actually. They still make me chuckle a little everytime I see them.



When I first saw these signs, I thought that there must be a lot of pesky house buyers stopping by unexpectedly all the time. Apparently, it's a popular scam (of course) to break into someones house while they're away and sell their house to someone else. Apparently, someone who breaks into a house, poses as the owner, and manages to sell it is not crafty enough to paint over the sign.

They really like to pack in the cargo vans...

Apparently, the TP doubles as another bumper too.


I can't help but laugh everytime I see this poster.

The Naira is sooo dirty. I guess with the "indecent storage" (top left) and no Naira "spraying" (bottom left), using the Naira in a strip club isn't proper use of the currency.

And everywhere you look, people are carrying things on their heads. It's very practical, although I have no idea how their necks support some of the weight!





Typical rush hour along the path.

Nigerian email spam and love letters?

I was wandering around the bookstore this weekend, and I think I found a book that partially explains Nigerian spam.

Ah yes, how could I not resist? The book was a 4 in 1- love letters, toasts, invitations, and engagement letters! The $1.25 was money well spent, and besides, it’s much cheaper than a movie ticket… err… not that there are any movie theaters nearby.

Through this instruction manual, I’ve now been revealed secrets like-

(1) Love letters must be written in simple and correct English.
(2) It must be reasonable.
(3) It must be very interesting to read [Wait! Boring isn’t the best way to woo a significant other? Useful advice, hmm… Maybe I should pay more attention here.]
(4) It must never contain bad words. [Oh come on, where’s the fun in that? Maybe you save the “bad” words for the sweet talking in person?]
(5) It must be free of implications. [I don’t understand this one, I mean, isn’t that the point of writing a love letter? Aren’t you implying something to begin with?]

And from the section on writing an engagement letter to a girl…
“She must be somebody you know or have met sometime. And she must know you as well. You can not write to an unknown girl asking for marriage.” [Wait, you’re telling me that stalker engagement letters aren’t they way to go?]

“Do not go to a girl whom you know that is being married by another person and ask her to marry you because you are rich. You must look for another girl. If you have the money, there are many beautiful girls to marry.” [Yep, probably true not just in Nigeria.]

So what does all of this love letter advice have to do with Nigerian spam emails? Here’s a sample love letter…


Hmm… you be the judge. Alright, my future-wife-to-be, prepare yourself for some hot love letter (without the "bad" words of course) spam, hah!

Market Days 2

Stalls everywhere in Nigeria sell my favorite food... souya! Ah yes, the sweet bbq goodness of meat on a stick. Anything that tastes that good charred can't possibly make me sick, hah. Seriously though, souya has been a main staple of my Nigerian diet.



And for you veggie lovers, plenty of fresh produce to go around.

I've eaten so much roasted corn, I think it's coming out of my ears now.


We affectionately call this local store 7-11 right outside our compound. They have every possible thing you could want and they're open late. I wouldn't hold my breath on the slurpees though.


It does, however, sell such authentic Nigerian food items like...

I swear, between Ramen and souya, my diet here in Nigeria has digressed to that of my undergrad years.

Most locals also buy drinking water in little plastic bags. Nigerian bagged water has also jumped on the flavored water bandwagon, although not intentionally. Through osmosis, they come in exciting authentic Nigerian street flavors like peanuts, smoke, and dirt. I'm going to store them next to some mangos and pineapples.


And if street food isn't working for me, I can always head for the golden 'B'. Mr. Biggs is the local fastfood chain as well as the all important classy date place to take university coeds. If you're broke, it's a souya date. If you have Naira, it's Mr. Biggs all the way, woo-hoo!



Then of course, there's other authentic local Nigerian eateries as well...


(and yeah, the food passed the Chinese restaurant criteria test- they had red chairs, other Chinese were actually eating there, and the bathroom floor was sticky. Steamed rice though was $4 a bowl!)

Gobarau Minaret

So this past weekend, we headed to far northern town of Katsina, about 15 minutes from the Niger border. Katsina was a hot and dusty city, but not without some charm.



The photos are of the Gobarau Minaret, an stunning structure built over 500 years ago sometime during the reign of King Muhammadu Korau during 1348-1398.

The structure was constructed from clay baked by the sun. Stairs wind along the outside. The top of the minaret is only accessible from the inner passages.
At the very top, you can peek out an opening that once served as watch tower for invaders.

View of Katsina from the top

In the courtyard below, plenty of football players.

Kid peeking in on the baturi.

Where there is one, there's always two.

Just a fantastic minaret.

Market days

Markets always seem to be one of the centers of activity in Nigeria. Electricity isn't the greatest so food doesn't keep. It's always interesting to see all the colorful things being sold at the "supermarket" in Zaria.

Usually, it's not too difficult getting food in Nigeria. Kids are always around selling things from the top of their heads.
Popcorn head

Peanut girls



And yes, that is raw meat on a wood table in the open with flies everywhere. Adds to the special seasoning I guess. Yep, grilled and charred is definitely the way to go before eating anything!


Dried spices and nuts and other foods everywhere



For some reason or another, there's always a plethora of tomato and potato stands alongside the road. I guess if you get the sudden urge to throw things at the truck who cut you off?


And of course, tropical fruit galore! Gotta love the 20 cent mangos.

Nigerian Traditional Dance?

Ok, if you saw the above photos, what would you think? Someone getting a "massage" Nigerian streetstyle, right? Actually, we took a short day trip this past weekend to Kaduna, a neighboring town. Behind the National Museum, people gather in the late afternoon to have a big dance off to Hausa music. Apparently the traditional musician didn't show, so I'm not sure if this was the equivalent of Nigerian interpretive dance. It was a cross between WWE wrestling linked with Indian Bollywood themes (forbidden love). Highly entertaining.

The comedian in the group came out and dressed in drag. And wow, they can dance. Listen to the Hausa music in the clip below.





There were some incredible sculptures as well behind the museum.