I'm resting for a few days to the land of smiles, Bangkok, Thailand. I know I've been in India for awhile when even Bangkok looks like a really clean city to me. I'm on my way to Laos for a few weeks.
Anyways, here are some things that I learned during my much to brief time in India. Useful stuff, really. Won't find this in any guidebook, just something to file in the back of your mind when you come and visit India.
(1) When crossing the street, the safetest way is to find a local to stand on your left and another on your right and then do
exactly what they do. Yes, you look like you're doing the Hindi version of the electric slide, but it works.
(2) When walking on the streets, avoid stepping in/on-
Piles of cows (and cow piles)
Piles of dogs and puppies
Cats
Chickens
Goats
Monkeys
Rats
Donkeys
Small children
and of course... lots and lots of garbage
(3) Sometimes sinks have pipes that don't actually go anywhere. And yes, there are also urinals that are like that (don't ask, I don't want to talk about that).
(4) Public hacking, coughing, spitting, nose picking, urination, and crotch adjusting are all socially acceptable. So's public bathing, provided you're fully clothed of course. It's a very modest country afterall.
(5) Contrary to popular belief, the brakes are NOT the most important part of a car, the horn is. They're actually completely interchangable among the rickshaw drivers, it's either the horn or brake. The horn is even like radar, you get the doppler effect when passing someone.
(6) It always pays off to be adventurous and daring.
(7) Rickshaw and taxi drivers are the most nastiest, cutthroat, people on earth who would lie through their teeth to make $$$ and sell their Mom to sweatshops. They will also bend over backwards and do everything they could do in their power to help you out of a serious jam (e.g., getting to a hospital in an emergency, finding someplace to sleep when getting into a town at 4am, missing a train). This is equally true of the millions of touts trying to sell you things.
(8) It seems like it's always the "well nourished" Indians with their overly nourished offspring who are the meanest to the scrawny streetkids who come begging on the trains.
(9) Everyone turns off their engines at stoplights to save gas (even though they end up using more when starting the engine back up again). It's so quiet at a red light, you think you're in an alpine meadow. The light turns green, and the honking cacophony commences!
(10) Guesthouses have a kill switch outside your room. So if you're charging your camera batteries and leave, they'll just turn everything off to save money.
(11) Middle-upper and upper-upper class Indians probably have more in common with westerners than they do with the lower class Indians.
(12) The Indian
head bobble has only 6 possible meanings- yes, no, and maybe, I don't know, maybe yes, and maybe no. You usually get the head bobble in response to questions like "Is this the train to Ahmedabad?" and "How much does this cost?" Got it? Good.
(13) There's a national school pen shortage among Indian kids.
(14) Indian kids really really really like to have their picture taken. It doesn't take much to make them really happy, especially in comparison to their western kids.
(15) PDA (public displays of affection) are not socially accepted among men and women. But it's perfectly fine for Indian men who are good friends to hold hands and walk down the street skipping while whistling Bollywood showtunes. Go figure.
(16) A scooter is a 4-person family car and a rickshaw doubles as a school bus and a moving van.
(17) The best way to clean clothes is to beat them with a wooden paddle, kinda like one of those old fashioned spanking ones.
(18) Some things about cows:
a) Cows are both a sacred animal AND a natural garbage disposal in India.
b) There's something that I find highly entertaining about throwing a banana peel between 3 cows. They stop what they're doing, look at the peel, their eyes get really wide, AND then they run to be the first to the peel. Yes, they actually run.
c) They exist in every possible climate, every mountain, every beach in India (well, except in places where they actually eat beef, I didnt see them too often there)
(19) There are never any charges to look.
(20) If you find yourself wandering around the beach in Goa mumbling "Where are my shoes? Have you seen my shoes? I know they're around here somewhere." for 4 hours, maybe it's time to go home.
(21) Likewise, if you find yourself becoming one with the spiritual center of the universe and yogis start hanging out with you...
(22) You can always spot the American (and wannabe American) by their Chaco sandals and Chaco tan.
(23) It's not a hip backpacker place without the Rasta Cafe. There are "rastafarians" on every corner of the earth.
(24) You'll either love or hate India, usually both at the same time. Either way, you'll find an irresistible urge to come back.
(25) Any generalizations and/or observations made about India the opposite is equally true.
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