Ah yes, how could I not resist? The book was a 4 in 1- love letters, toasts, invitations, and engagement letters! The $1.25 was money well spent, and besides, it’s much cheaper than a movie ticket… err… not that there are any movie theaters nearby.
Through this instruction manual, I’ve now been revealed secrets like-
(1) Love letters must be written in simple and correct English.
(2) It must be reasonable.
(3) It must be very interesting to read [Wait! Boring isn’t the best way to woo a significant other? Useful advice, hmm… Maybe I should pay more attention here.]
(4) It must never contain bad words. [Oh come on, where’s the fun in that? Maybe you save the “bad” words for the sweet talking in person?]
(5) It must be free of implications. [I don’t understand this one, I mean, isn’t that the point of writing a love letter? Aren’t you implying something to begin with?]
And from the section on writing an engagement letter to a girl…
“She must be somebody you know or have met sometime. And she must know you as well. You can not write to an unknown girl asking for marriage.” [Wait, you’re telling me that stalker engagement letters aren’t they way to go?]
“Do not go to a girl whom you know that is being married by another person and ask her to marry you because you are rich. You must look for another girl. If you have the money, there are many beautiful girls to marry.” [Yep, probably true not just in Nigeria.]
So what does all of this love letter advice have to do with Nigerian spam emails? Here’s a sample love letter…
Hmm… you be the judge. Alright, my future-wife-to-be, prepare yourself for some hot love letter (without the "bad" words of course) spam, hah!
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2 comments:
Dude that's hilarious. Hope you're having fun in Africa.
YES!
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